you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
