i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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