I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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