His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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