How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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