I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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