Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
