At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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