Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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