I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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