just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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