redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
