You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
