id be glad to
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
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Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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