Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
