So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize