That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
