He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
