o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
