She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
