how can u be prego again
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
