Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
