its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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