i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
