then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
