I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
