I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
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you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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