your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
