In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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