I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
