We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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