Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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