Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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