Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And then the night went full on bisexual.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
