so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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