So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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