My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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