I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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