i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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