i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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