I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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