I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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