At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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