you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Come on in and take your pants off
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