i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I met the friendliest cop last night
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize