I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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