Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
