ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
