do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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