I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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