Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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