This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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