She's JV to your varsity
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
