There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
