that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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