this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
