Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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