I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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